In September of 2014, my husband and I were extremely excited to find out that we were going to have a baby girl. I had dreamt of being a mom my whole life and was excited to be expecting after trying for almost a year.
That dream would be short lived, however, as my husband and I received news after our 19-week check-up: there was something not right with how our baby was developing. After numerous tests and an amniocentesis, we discovered she had Trisomy 18, a condition where she had a third 18th chromosome. According to our doctor, this condition was “not compatible with life.”
We decided to keep her regardless of her condition. At the 34-week mark on April 2, 2015, our doctor decided it was time to give birth. Delivery seemed too much for our sweet Tabatha Darling, as she passed away during labor. She was just 3 lbs, but perfect in our eyes.
Though we had several months to prepare for this inevitable end, it was almost too difficult for my husband and me. I mustered up the courage to tell our journey from the beginning on our blog, BabyWagley.com. Sharing my experience was cathartic, to say the least.
TABATHA’S GREATER PURPOSE
Before going through this experience, I probably would have thought that it was a hard trial or curse of some kind. After living through it, I can say that I feel like I was chosen to be the mother of a special little girl. There is a reason why she was supposed to come to earth to receive a body and return to heaven quicker than the rest of us. Someone had to do it and I’m so glad that God picked my husband and me.
Fast forward fifteen months after we had our sweet Tabatha Darling. On July 7, 2016 I gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Birdie James! We experienced a lot during my second pregnancy, everything from excitement and joy, to fear and anxiety. But we wouldn’t change a thing. Although one of our little babies is not here with us, we are still so grateful for our little girls that have made us a family.
Finding out and knowing that your child is not compatible with life or “perfect” is devastating, but the personal growth and love that you experience is unlike anything else in this world. If you are in a situation where you are considering carrying to term, know that you too can feel the fullness of love and joy that we have experienced.