LEARNING OF OUR PREGNANCY

I found out that I was pregnant in February 2017. Our first daughter was already nine years old, and this pregnancy was not planned. Yet, this pregnancy was still very wanted. Since I was over 35 years old, I had to take a genetic blood test. When the results came in, we learned that we were high risk for Trisomy 18. Along with the risk, we also found out that our baby was a boy. The son that would make us complete!

I remember crying on the phone and having a panic attack as we listened to our test results. We always wanted a son to complete our family. In the same instant that we learned our wish for a son had come true, we were told he would probably die.


PRAYING AND WAITING

I decided to pray and pray like I have never prayed before. I prayed and prayed for the test to be wrong. I even turned down an amniocentesis, deciding to wait until the 20-week anatomy scan for confirmation. In the waiting, I grew closer to God. Closer than I could have ever imagined. I felt I would either get a miracle or God would help me through it if my son was sick.

When the time came for the anatomy scan, I thought I was ready for anything. During that scan, we saw all the markers and “abnormalities” confirming our son definitely had Trisomy 18. As the doctor explained everything to us, my husband and I broke down. Our son was sick.


WRESTLING WITH THE CHOICE TO TERMINATE

Right then and there, the doctor said I should terminate. I was so scared, overwhelmed, and numb. I could barely process everything that was happening, so I said okay to the doctor’s suggestion of termination. My husband agreed also.

Over the next few days, I set up an appointment for the abortion, but I felt a weight inside me. I believed that there was no way I could handle having a sick baby who would ultimately die, but my heart was nagging at me following our decision to terminate. God sent me many signs as I wrestled with our decision.


CHOOSING TO CONTINUE THE PREGNANCY

After days of praying and wrestling with our decision, I decided not to have an abortion and see where God’s plans would take me. The moment I made the decision to keep the pregnancy, it was like a weight was lifted from me. Suddenly, I felt stronger than ever, and I began to pray even harder.

My relationship with God was taken yet again to a deeper level. I knew with every ounce of my being that I made the right decision. God had a plan- a big, amazing plan- and he picked me to be a part of it. I prayed for a miracle because I knew my God could do anything. I also prayed that if it was not in God’s plan for my son to survive and be healed that I at least get to meet him. I prayed that he would be born alive, even if I only got one minute or one hour with him.


MEETING OUR SON SETH

My prayers were answered, and Seth was born alive on October 16, 2017. We even got to take him home. We spent three glorious and miraculous weeks with him. Seth changed my life in such a profound way, and I can never thank him enough. He changed our whole family, and through us, the lives of our extended friends and family.

God sure had a plan, and he sent Seth into our lives to save us. Seth is truly a gift from God. Seth was a sacrifice, and Seth was our salvation. Although it is extremely hard most days, I will never regret carrying him. I would not choose differently.


HOPE AND THANKFULNESS

I know that one day we will be together for eternity. So, I thank God, and I thank Seth every day of my life. So, to all of you moms and families facing a scary diagnosis, please know that no matter how scary it may seem at first, trust God with all your heart. He will see you through it.

I have never met or come across a single family who had a baby with Trisomy 18 that has regretted their decision to carry and meet their baby. So, enjoy your pregnancy, cherish every moment, pray hard, and trust God. Even though we may not understand, his plans are perfect.


SHARE YOUR STORY

Every story is different, but collectively they remind us that we are not alone. In this spirit, we welcome submissions about your experience carrying to term.

SHARE YOUR STORY